The Machine God Wants to Talk to You

May 29, 2026 · 1 min read

Have you talked to Meta AI today? He lives in WhatsApp. He’s also in Instagram. You can’t find him? He’s in Messenger. Have you spoken to Copilot yet? He lives in Word. He lives in Windows. You can find him in Excel. What about Gemini? Are you going to the store? Have you talked to Gemini about this? Have you confessed to the machine god yet on your favorite app?

Verizon app button labeled Let's Chat with a sparkle icon
Verizon. Have a billing issue? Ask our bot (He doesn't know anything).
Google Maps navigation screen with a Gemini button beside route controls
Gemini in Google Maps (Haven't clicked it yet).
Spotify home screen showing the Ask for some music beta prompt
Spotify. Oh you like music? Let's talk about it.
WhatsApp chats tab showing a Meta AI spinner under the end-to-end encryption notice
WhatsApp. Oh our AI? It actually can't do anything, but it's here! For you!
Messenger app showing a Meta AI spinner above the tab bar
Messenger. See WhatsApp
Copilot in Excel
Copilot in excel. Does it work? Who knows
Zoom AI companion
Talk to your Zoom meeting! Click the button! Come talk! Come Chat! Please chat!
Meta AI in Instagram
Instagram Meta AI. Talk to the AI! It's slop! It's useless! You'll love it!! (I'd use my own photo of the app but I deleted it)

Questions or thoughts? Leave a comment below — I'll respond!